AdolescenceLen Kagamine POV
by LeVampireCat
Summary: Based on the Kagamine song 'Adolescence', told from Len's POV, it focuses on the Kagamine's hitting adolescence and exploring their relationship together, a RINxLEN fanfic. Vocaloid & Adolescence do NOT belong to me   .
1. Chapter 1

Adolescence-Kagamine Len & Rin

POV-Kagamine Len

WARNING CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE SONG ADOLESCENCE BY KAGAMINE RIN AND LEN. ALSO CONTAINS THE PAIRING RINXLEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEM TOGETHER DON'T READ IT! =)

AN-So, this is based on the Kagamine song 'Adolescence', I wrote this about a year ago, so I apologise for any errors I've missed, I tried to correct them all before uploading, but if you notice any, please let me know =). Thank you and enjoy!

Spinning, spinning, around and around. She's leading me, but now we're at the end, so I smile at her as we stop, gazing mutually in to one another's eyes, we silently agree that now it's my turn to lead our 'eternal dance' as she calls it. A dance we've partaken in since we were small children. I sigh dreamily, placing my arm behind her waist, pulling her close to me, intertwining my fingers with hers with our other hands, and now I start to move my legs automatically, the dance steps have been engraved in to my brain you could say, everyday we dance, my twin and I. I can feel my pulse quickening, and not because the dance is tiring, oh no. A closeness between Rin and myself that never used to bother me, it all seems so awkward now, I feel nervous being so close to her. She shows so sign of awkwardness toward me; I assume she doesn't feel it.

Our dance without music finished once more, I hadn't been paying attention yet I hadn't faltered, not once. On the contrary, it was Rin who was faltering, and I couldn't figure out why. We knew our dance so well. I smiled wearily at her, letting her go and wandering over to a large mirror mounted upon the wall. It came as a shock to me as I stared at my reflection. It had so suddenly occurred; I was aging more and more. I pictured myself as a child standing with Rin beside me; we'd been the same height then. Not anymore. I gripped the edge of the oak chest of drawers tightly, attempting to steady myself. I felt very peculiar. I let out a deep breath, not entirely sure what had come over me, I tightened my ponytail with one shaking hand.

The boy staring back at me in the mirror had changed significantly. I noticed how broad my shoulders had become, and I could see the faint outline of muscles beginning to appear in my upper arms as well. However, the dark circles beneath my blue eyes told me that puberty was taking its toll on me, both emotionally and physically.

Movement behind me caused me to break from my train of thought. I stared at Rin's reflection in the mirror as she sauntered towards me, her hips swaying a little as she moved. Had her hips always been so...noticeable? She slipped her skinny arms around my waist, lovingly pulling herself close to me. She came up to my neck now, I frowned at the fact we were no longer 'symmetrical'. She raised an inquisitive eyebrow, gliding elegantly to my side so that only one of her arms remained on my waist. She too was staring grimly at our reflections, and with a heavy sigh she rested her head upon my shoulder.

My eyes passed up and down her reflection, I noticed her curves, curves that I didn't have. It horrified me that we would never look perfectly the same again, it was only now that I realised that she was a woman, I a man, and how different both genders are. A faint blush colored my pallid cheeks as I stared at her chest. Ah, now I realised why dancing with her was becoming so awkward, they were getting in the way. A feeling had come over me, one I hadn't experienced before, and didn't understand, making my palms clammy and my breathing shallow.

"Len" Rin breathed my name, almost silently, making the hairs on the back of my neck rise. I answered 'yes', in a somewhat raspy voice.

"What are you thinking about?" her soft voice echoed through the vast ballroom. I opened my mouth to reply, but suddenly felt my face grow warm with embarrassment, what could I say? I was thinking about your body, I gently pushed her arm away from my waist and moved away from her

"O-oh...uh...just...u-us" I stuttered unintentionally, staring down at the polished marble floor. I could see scratches where our dancing shoes had damaged the floor. I daren't look into her eyes lest my heart start to pound again. 

"Mmm" She mumbled thoughtfully, "me too, I was just thinking about how much we've changed..." She trailed off, a hand clasped against her chest as she stared curiously at the gold framed mirror. I scratched the back of my head anxiously, not sure what to say to her. She quickly turned to stare at me, my cheeks burning as she did so, I moved to peer outside the grand windows. The Moon emitted a cool light across the towering trees outside, and stars twinkled as if they'd been studded by hand across the black canvas of the night sky.

"Mom and Dad aren't home yet." I commented, not really concerned by their absence. Our parents were some what distant towards us, something that had brought us two twins even closer. Being from a very wealthy family meant that our parents were out night and day, going to fancy dinners and celebrations, something they had attempted to introduce us to, but our lack of interest led them to discard this idea. The few evenings we had attended these occasions we had spent tied to one another, one of the reasons we weren't very social, we had one another, and that was all we'd ever needed. Our parents didn't really mind leaving us alone with one another, all we really did was dance and talk. It was all we had done for as long as I could remember.

"We should go to bed before they return, or else they'll get angry." Rin decided her tone of voice a little sad. I nodded in agreement, walking away from the windows and taking her hand. The odd sensation from earlier had disappeared for now, and I felt calm once again.


	2. Chapter 2

We lived in a large old fashioned mansion, the kind with so many rooms most were left unused, the kind with enormous old paintings of unknown people concealing the wallpaper hidden beneath them. In unison we climbed the staircase leading to the bedrooms, leading to the one we still shared even now. We reminisced, remembering how scared we'd been of the long corridors when we were children, frightened of what may have been lurking amongst the shadows in the old mansion, we would huddle together for safety and security. We both laughed, though I secretly still feared sleeping alone in one of the antique bedrooms, one of the reasons we still slept together.

"I'm going to get changed in the bathroom" Rin informed me removing a nightgown from the dresser and hurrying into the en suite bathroom. I heard the metallic click of the lock as she locked the door. We used to change in the same room, I reflected. She'd been so modest lately, it was as if she didn't trust me anymore, she even locked the door now as if I'd given her reason to. It wasn't as if I spied on her, in fact I hadn't taken much notice of her changing, ever. She was my sister, why would I? I changed alone in our bedroom, I didn't really care if she walked in on me changing, it wasn't as if we'd never seen one another naked before, when we were younger we even bathed together (something Rin had insisted we put a stop to when we turned twelve). 

Rin took her time, and I'd already been lying alone in the four-poster-bed for at least ten minutes before she emerged, both arms folded in front of her chest as if shielding herself from my gaze. Delicately she pulled the covers back so that she could climb in beside me, which she did while tugging the skirt of her nightgown down to cover her legs more. I gave her a puzzled look, wishing she'd explain her odd behaviour to me. She turned her body to face me and stared into my eyes, a soft smile upon her lips. I gathered her in my arms, pulling her head close to my chest and whispered softly to her;

"Goodnight my princess" a silly nic-name for her. I gently ran my fingers through her blonde hair, gathering a handful of it in my palm and feeling how soft it was.

"Goodnight my knight" She breathed quietly, already drifting off into a slumber. I stayed awake long after her breathing had slowed so that I could tell she was asleep. I couldn't help feeling like something had changed between us, or was changing. We'd always been so close, we'd danced together, played together, ate together, bathed together, changed together, slept together. Now things seemed different somehow. We didn't bathe or change together anymore, I supposed I could understand this, our bodies were both changing, and obviously Rin was more self conscious about this than I was. But now when we danced together, I kept having to stop. I would become light headed and embarrassed at the fact we were so close, yet now we slept together and it didn't bother me at all. I didn't understand. In a way it felt like we were drifting apart, yet it also felt like we were becoming closer...just in a different way. I ran my hand along her hip, feeling for myself where it curved out and in. It never used to do that. She moaned a little in irritation drowsily, still asleep, I was disturbing her so I stopped. 

I was finally starting to fall asleep when the creak of our bedroom door jolted me awake again, in a sleepy state I groaned angrily, pulling Rin closer instinctively, protectively. I kept my eyes shut, wishing to ignore the source of the noise, and was slightly relieved to hear my father's voice.

"They really are adorable aren't they?" He whispered. My mother replied with an 'Mmm' sound, not wanting to wake us. I felt a hand brushing a loose strand of hair from my eyes, making me pull my twin even closer, a movement I couldn't help, I'd always been protective.

"He's protective of her isn't he?" My father's voice again. I hoped Rin wouldn't be woken up by his talking, and wished they would hurry up and leave. I suddenly realised that she too was awake, as the flutter of her soft eyelashes tickled my bare chest. That's right, it was most likely too dark for them to notice her blinking as her head was buried in my chest. 

"I do wish he would button his shirt up more, he has no modesty I swear!" My mother commented on the fact I'd left my shirt unbuttoned right down to my stomach. Rin's hand reached for mine beneath the covers, and she squeezed it reassuringly. My mother enjoyed criticising my appearance, and often told me to be more modest, especially around my sister.

"It's too warm, the boy isn't causing any harm dear." my father defended me, understanding me more than my mother.

"He wouldn't be too warm if he had his own bed instead of sharing with his sister" I clenched my teeth, I didn't understand what my mother had against Rin and me sharing, we were twins, there was nothing wrong with it. As if being able to read my thoughts my father replied;

"They're twins I don't see the harm in them sharing." I relaxed, secretly grateful for my father's understanding. My mother sighed; knowing arguing with him wouldn't help. But obviously deciding to anyway.

"Look...they're getting to an age where it isn't...right for them to be sharing a bed, it would be different if they were both girls or both boys but...at some point they'll start to notice they're becoming different and become...curious...don't you think?" my mother seemed to have trouble approaching the subject with her husband, especially since she was speaking about us. I almost laughed, we'd already begun to notice the differences and it hadn't caused us any harm.

"What do you think they're going to do? They're siblings! Even if they aren't the same gender I highly doubt they would do anything, that's just wrong..." our father had raised his voice a little, anger apparent in his tone. What did my mother expect us to be doing?

"It isn't like we haven't taught them about...sex...they aren't children anymore, that much is obvious!" My mother paused, lowering her voice at the word 'sex', obviously contemplating how to finish this delicately. "I mean, it isn't like they have any friends they could talk about it with, they spend all of their time together, for all we know they might already have-" our father interrupted furiously.

"No! I've raised my son to be a gentleman, and I'll say the same for our daughter, even if they were curious they wouldn't turn to one another for the answers, if it bothered them that much they would start coming out with us to find suitable partners!" he finished in a speaking tone now, informing both our mother and us that he was displeased. Rin trembled in my arms, I squeezed her hand as she'd done to me, though I too was shocked by the conversation, how could they possibly think of us in that way?

"You're probably right, I am overacting but still...I feel they should start sleeping in separate beds, can we agree on that much? They're old enough now." Our mother attempted to persuade our father. With a low sigh, he mumbled the word 'yes', followed by;

"We'll discuss it with them tomorrow", before planting a kiss on our cheeks, and retreating from our room. We heard the door click shut, heard their footsteps becoming quieter as they left for their own room before summoning up the courage to say anything. There was an awkward silence between us, their conversation made us feel dirty, as if we had committed some incestuous crime by simply sharing a bed. Finally Rin spoke, echoing my own thoughts.

"I noticed..." She whispered timidly, referring to the differences between us.

"So did I, how could we not?" I questioned defending us, yet feeling useless doing so. She moved away from me, and my grip on her slipped, allowing her to do so. She was staring into my eyes again, searching my soul for an alibi, we were innocent, we hadn't done anything wrong.

"This could be our last night together, we should enjoy one another's company instead of reflecting on what they said, after all, we've never done anything wrong" I frowned, pulling her close to me again, feeling possessive of her. No one had ever threatened to take my twin away from me before, and now they had, I didn't like it.

"Okay" she replied simply, resting her head a little warily against my chest once more. I could feel her tears slipping down my chest; she hated the idea of sleeping alone as much as I did, but I was strong for her, and stroked her hair lovingly until she slept once more. Surprisingly now I was able to sleep, my anger had exhausted me so that I managed to fall asleep. 


	3. Chapter 3

When I awoke the next morning, my sister was already awake, and stared up at me curiously, as if wanting to see what I had been dreaming, I grinned down at her, having forgotten last night's anxieties.

"Good morning princess" I kissed the top of her head, but she wriggled free from my grasp, offending me a little, what had come over her? She sat up, letting the bedcover slip off of her, making her blush and pull at the hem of her nightgown again, a gesture which irritated me a little.

"Why do you do that?" I questioned her, finally having the courage to ask; if she got angry at me for asking at least I wasn't left in curiosity. "It's not like you have bad legs" I frowned, resting my hand against the slender calf of her leg. She flinched at my touch, I wondered if I'd hurt her with my nails.

"Len please don't touch my legs" She blushed, moving my hand away. I got up angrily, I wasn't entirely sure what her problem was with me, but I decided it best for the both of us if I simply went down to breakfast alone for a change.

"Look Rin I don't know why you're so modest lately but I would never harm you alright?" I flared before leaving the room and slamming the door behind me. I buttoned up my shirt so as not to offend my ever pernickety mother before entering the kitchen. For once both of our parents were home, father sat at one end of the large table, sipping at a cup of black coffee while flicking through some of his paper work. Mother sat at the opposite end, mirroring him in actions. I laughed inwardly, and we were the twins? Surprisingly they both looked up as I entered, another thing they did not often do, the sudden change in normality caused me to feel a little agitated, and I stared down at the floor as I always did when I was nervous.

"Good morning father, good morning mother." I greeted them politely as I seated myself at the edge of the table. They both stared at me as if I were growing an extra limb, a look of pure amazement upon their faces. I hated them staring at me, and preoccupied myself my by taking a small slice of toast from the silver toast holder. They continued to gaze at me, drilling me with their eyes, hesitantly I reached for the strawberry jam, using the appropriate knife to spread a thin layer on to the surface, watching it melt into the surface, leaving only a few blobs visible.

"Where's Rin?" My father questioned as I took the first bite out of my toast. I finished chewing, and swallowed before replying, not wanting him to think I was impolite. 

"Oh she's still in bed" I answered, not wanting to mention my getting angry with her. I continued to take a second bite into my toast when my mother continued.

"Don't you usually come down together to eat?" She pursued me, raising a suspicious eyebrow. I swallowed another mouthful again.

"How would you know you're never here when we get up..." I muttered a little too loudly. My mother's cheeks colored with anger.

"What was that?" She questioned irritably. I shook my head, apologising before continuing.

"I meant to say...yes we do usually but we had a little argument and...I came down alone this morning" I finished hesitantly, hoping they wouldn't ask about our 'argument'. I took a large bite out of my toast, praying that this would indicate to them that I didn't wish to continue this conversation. Not seeming to notice my signals they persisted to bother me. An attack from the opposite side.

"Oh that's a pity, what was this argument about?" My father this time, asked curiously. I didn't answer even when I'd finished the mouthful I was busy with. "I asked you a question" he said forcefully, clearly irritated by my lack of communication. I mumbled something illegible. 

"I'm sorry? Could you speak a little more loudly son, it's rude to mumble" My father persevered. I gripped the edge of the table tightly so that my knuckles turned white; I took a deep breath and spoke.

"I was angry because she wouldn't let me touch her leg", my face flushed red with embarrassment. It sounded bad, like I'd been flirting with her or something; I saw my parents exchange a worried glance before staring back at me.

"Why were you touching her legs?" My mother said a hint of disgust in her voice. I finished my toast, feeling it catch as a lump in my throat; I was on the spot now. I dabbed at my mouth with a napkin, clearing my throat before answering her.

"She kept pulling her nightgown over her legs and I wanted to know why..." I trailed off, realising how bad the truth sounded, what had happened to the truth setting you free? Another equally worried look flew across the table between our parents. Nervously, I shakily poured a glass of orange juice from the pitcher into my glass and took a long gulp to break the silence.

"Son, we'd like to talk to your sister and you about something very serious" My father cut to the chase, I remembered in depth the hushed argument they'd had above our bed the previous night. I had to stall for time; I didn't want to hear their accusations! I stood up hurriedly, wanting to warn Rin before she came down. I accidently knocked my juice over, going to mop it up, but seeing one of the maids coming over to do it, now was my chance, they were distracted.

"Oh I-I'm sorry, I'm so clumsy!" I laughed, eager to break the tension; I backed away from my chair to the door. "I'll go and retrieve Rin shall I?" A question I wasn't about to let them answer; I flew up the stairs and into our room, shutting the door as quietly as I could behind me. I panted, out of breath from the running; I glanced over at our untidy bed to see she was gone. I turned my head to check the bathroom door, but noticed it was open. I lowered my eyebrows, not sure where else she could be, I decided I would get changed in that case. My eye was caught once again by the unmade bed, I grimaced, disliking things to be untidy, so I strolled over to the double bed, pulling the cream covers and pillows back in to place.

I laughed a little, when we'd been younger all of our things had been yellow, it was our favourite color, in fact we would still have had everything yellow at present if our parents hadn't insisted that we were 'too old' for such a color, so instead we settled on cream.

I grabbed some clean clothes from the drawers and ambled towards the bathroom. I glanced down at my watch; I figured I could stall for a while longer before having to face my parents once more. I stared down at my watch thoughtfully, closing the door with my back, not really paying attention what I was doing. 

"Len?" the high voice of my twin questioned. I looked up casually, my jaw dropping as I realised I had walked in on her changing. She snatched a towel and held it against herself. My brain screamed at me to look away, to get out of there, but something else kept me rooted to the spot staring at her. That unusual feeling was back, and even though I was blushing furiously part of me refused to move. She stared at me in distress, desperately trying to cover her body up.

"Len I'm not wearing anything! Leave!" She demanded in a pleading voice. I moved, but not away, I stepped closer, not entirely sure what had possessed me to do so, making her cheeks redder, I could see tears in the corner of here eyes. I was causing her discomfort yet something had come over me and I couldn't seem to pull myself away. I felt feverish almost, breathless again. I reached out for her.

"Len" She whimpered helplessly, I shook my head, breaking the spell I'd been under. I seemed to awaken and notice what I was doing; I withdrew my outreached hand, moving away. I suddenly felt embarrassed, and finally glancing away, a frown upon my face a murmured;

"Next time close the door" Before running from the bathroom and throwing myself down upon the bed. I lay on my back, staring up at the ceiling, as if searching it for answers. What on earth had come over me? Back there...I'd felt something I couldn't explain. I wanted to apologise, but was too scared to even knock on the door now. 


	4. Chapter 4

She appeared a long while later; I'd stayed on the bed the whole time, calming myself down, preparing myself, and running through my mind how I would apologise. I sat up quickly to face her. She stared at me uncertainly, but approached anyway. I stood, hanging my head in shame.

"I'm so sorry...something came over me...I didn't mean to..." It was hopeless; I couldn't make the words form and sound sincere. I felt awful, I saw her eyes were red, presumably from crying. She held a finger to my lips to silence me, and smiled. 

"It's alright...I think I understand" She spoke carefully; I hoped she wasn't frightened of me now. She stroked my hair, smiling again, I tilted my head curiously.

"You do?" I asked, astonished that she'd figured it out when I hadn't. She nodded, smiling sweetly at me. 

"You've never seen a teenage girl naked before so...you were curious" Her cheeks were tinged pink, and she looked out of the window as I had the previous night when she spoke. I nodded slowly, deciding this made sense, and that it had to be the reason. I grinned proudly at my clever twin. 

"Yes! That has to be it!" I beamed at her, I carefully took her hand, so as not to startle her, and together we went down to our parents. We entered the kitchen holding hands as we always did, as if the events upstairs hadn't taken place. We stood at the doorway, as if waiting for them to announce us, once again the looked up at the pair of us, dressed neatly as we would always be (I had changed while contemplating on my unusual behaviour).

"What took you both so long? We're very busy you know." My mother declared impatiently. Rin and I glanced at one another, mutually agreeing not to mention our little encounter in the bathroom. Taking that as our cue, we both moved to the table at the same time, the way people expect twins to do everything. A way of reminding our parents of how close we were, we sat beside one another, closer than usual to emphasize this. We squeezed one another's hands praying for the best.

"Well we think it's time you both started sleeping in separate beds..." That was how the conversation began, the whole thing entailing the arguments we had heard the previous night about us being at 'that age', and being 'curious of one another', at which Rin and I glanced nervously at one another again. It seemed we were fighting a losing battle, but we still had our secret weapon. Rin stood up, teary eyed, and looked from mother to father very innocently, her large blue eyes filling their harsh expressions with guilt.

"Please, you can't separate us we're twins, a pair!" She whimpered pleadingly. She clasped her hands together as if in prayer; let a little sob escape from her lips to tug at their heartstrings. It seemed to be working, dad had a look of sorrow on his face at seeing his little girl in so much pain, and mom was also looking regretfully at Rin's teary blue eyes.

"Please daddy, mommy, give us a chance, if we give you any reason to separate us after this then by all means do so! But please, we've done nothing wrong, and this is like a punishment...Please!" She begged, letting the tears flow down her soft cheeks as she guilt tripped out gullible parents. I knew as well as she did she was putting the tears on, or at least exaggerating them, playing along, I kept a distressed look upon my face during the entire act, and finally with a couple of heavy sighs, our parents gave in, father first, and then at last mother as well.

"I suppose you're right...but the moment we feel something isn't right, we're separating you! Is that fair?" My mother finalized the terms and conditions of our agreement. We both nodded simultaneously and said 'thank you', as sweetly and innocently as possible, before leaving the kitchen grinning from ear to ear, we had won. 


	5. Chapter 5

Spinning, spinning, around and around. I was leading, our dance ended again. It was around 10pm, our parents were out, and we were doing what we were always doing, dancing. Though the two of us had acted normal today I didn't feel normal. I felt a strange longing I'd never felt before, and it seemed to be growing as time passed. This longing had varied in intensity as the day went on, it would dull and then flare again...especially when I looked back on this morning. I was beginning to understand now as I twirled Rin beneath the bright light of the chandelier, this feeling was something new to me. I now understood a little more what our parents had meant as I held Rin's small frame against me. This feeling that had been building up had something to do with the fact we were aging, I was becoming a man.

I'd been staring at Rin all day, a dazed expression upon my face, and I had worked out that what I longed for was...female company...shall we say. The only female company I had was Rin. I made her nervous when I stared, and though she didn't say it, I knew she didn't like the idea of being alone with me tonight, even though we'd been alone most nights since we were children. Never before had I acted this way, or felt this way, so understandingly I had retrieved a small hammer from one of the large rooms, one where many old weapons were kept. I had instructed her to hit me with this if I were to try and force myself upon her, not that I felt the longing that much...yet.

We had been dancing for hours, and all the while this lust had been growing within me, holding her so close to me, I could feel her heartbeat harmonizing with mine. I took deep breaths, attempting to calm myself down, I didn't like this feeling, it made me act in a way I couldn't explain, and in a way I didn't like. She sighed dreamily as we glided across the newly polished floor, my hand on her waist slipping down absent mindedly. We slowed down and she played with a strand of hair at the nape of my neck. My eye was caught by our reflection in the mirror, I could see myself, I looked awful, my eyes glazed over as they had been all day.

"Len" She whispered so softly a surge of feeling shot through my spine, making me grip her more tightly. I looked down into her blue eyes, her small face made her look adorable.

"Your hand's a little...low on my back" She told me, I blushed, moving it back up to her waist apologising quietly, it was tense as we carried on our dance. I closed my eyes as we twirled around, I felt my way around the dance floor, I could still feel the breeze created by Rin's flowing dress against my trouser leg. I imagined I was dancing with a mystery girl, my lover, and we laughed as we twirled. This was a way I used to ignore the new feelings that seemed to be growing ever stronger. It was working less and less effectively each time I tried it. Rin squeezed my hand.

"Are you alright Len?" She questioned, her voice filled with concern, I loved her. I could picture her again as I had this morning, it was overwhelming me. I pulled her body closer against mine, I kissed her neck gently, causing her to tense, she hadn't been expecting this, then again neither had I, it was if I had left my body, and now watched the scene unfurling below me, powerless against my urges.

"I want you" I whispered hoarsely in her ear, in a voice I didn't recognise as my own. She struggled against me, but my new found power was too strong, and I pushed her up against the oak set of drawers. She slapped at my arms lightly, almost not wanting me to put her down, the same force that had overtaken me this morning was there again.

"Len stop it!" She gasped as I stared at her, my face an emotionless mask, though inside I was doing my best to stop, I wanted to stop! "It's like you're not even you when you're like this!" An unfamiliar face appears, a line I remembered from one of our old songs...what had come next? 

"I want you." I repeated, it was barely audible, but she stared at me as if I'd yelled it. With a soft low whisper, yes, that had been the next line. I was breathless again as she struggled against me, my hands clamped tightly around her tiny arms, she screamed, begging me not to do it. My heart was breaking for her on the inside, but I couldn't control my body. She twisted around to see our struggling reflections in the mirror and gasped, I looked up to see the now evil look upon my face, as if a shadow had clouded over my eyes. She spotted the hammer I had left out, snatching it up before I could, I knew this would hurt, but at the same time I knew I deserved it for what I was trying to do. She screamed at me once more to stop, I could hear the voices of what sounded like my parents nearby. Everything was a blur, Rin seized the hammer, striking, not me, but the mirror behind us, she shrieked as she did this, glass scattered, and I heard our parents running towards us, bellowing at me to stop what I was doing, in desperation to protect Rin, I snapped out of the spell, shielding her, kicking the chest of drawers out of the way with a loud 'crash', the remnants of the mirror fell to the floor, the chest toppling over at the force of my kick. 

We both trembled as I shielded her, feeling a few small shards of glass bounce off of my back, Rin was safe, her body shielded by mine. I could hear her whispering 'don't let go of me', as our parents furious shouts filled our ears. They yanked at the collar of my shirt roughly, attempting to yank me away from my twin. Their attempts were futile as the shouted abuse at me, words like 'rape' and 'punishment', disappointment, though the first was by far the worst. My head span, Rin stood behind me, and I stood with my limbs spread out in a defensive position in front of her, as if they were the ones who had almost hurt her. I stared at the floor, I was ashamed of myself, and even though Rin rushed to my defence each time they attacked me (verbally), there was no denying what I'd intended to do.

"You are NOT sleeping together ANYMORE" My father growled, seizing my wrist and pulling me away from Rin, who screamed as mother held her back, we kicked and fought to free ourselves of their grasps, but they were resolute, and I was dragged along to a new bedroom, and practically thrown in. My father glared down at me with disgust as I was thrown to the floor.

"I am very disappointed" He spat, before slamming the door behind him. The force reverberated through the entire room, I heard the lock click in the door, informing me that I was not to get out of here until they saw fit. I supposed it was fair but it didn't stop the pain. After a while I lay in bed crying angry tears, why had I done that? I hit the pillow fiercely with my fist, crying as if I were in pain, I wondered if Rin was crying as well. It was an unpleasant night, as absurd as it was, I was scared of the dark and being alone, and my bitter tears only made the silence seem more frightening. I deserved such a punishment, but Rin did not. 


	6. Chapter 6

Every night for two weeks I was locked away in my room, each night a teary goodnight would take place between Rin and myself, and I could tell it broke our parent's hearts to see us so torn, but it seemed necessary. They would no longer make eye contact with me, and that almost killed me, I missed their warmth, even if they were absent a lot of the time, they were still my parents, and their cold stares and single word answers stung me. Though amazingly they still left us alone together at night they had created for Rin to contact help in a desperate situation if need be. 

What killed me more than anything else was the fact that my attraction to Rin was growing stronger, I wanted to switch it off, force it to go away, but it seemed there was no way. At night we would sit in our-sorry-her room and talk, talk about anything and everything. I'd brush her glossy hair as she'd remind me of some story from our past. I'd laugh, but secretly I'd be thinking about her hair, how I wanted to lie next to her again and hold a lock of her hair, to stroke it.

One night we sat on the edge of her now yellow covered bed, simply talking about our parents and how harsh they were on me, though I argued that what I had done was wrong Rin kept referring to it as what I'd almost done but didn't do, and that was what they kept forgetting. Her loyalty to me was astonishing. Even after I'd almost raped her she still seemed to love me sincerely and believe more than I did that I was innocent, it touched me really, and made me love her all the more. 

"Rin...I really really appreciate you sticking up for me, and your belief in me, you seem to have more faith in me than I do" I spoke from the heart, wanting her to know how precious she really was to me. I missed dancing with her, but we were no longer allowed into the ballroom, something both of us sorely missed, having used it for so long, it had so many happy memories; it seemed foolish to ban us from it due to the one and only bad one. 

"Well it seems I really am the smart twin if I'm the only one who realises you wouldn't have done it" She laughed lightly, placing her hand on mine and squeezing it gently. At this that surge of feeling ran up my spine again, I stared at her, blushing. Her smile faded as she stared up at me into my eyes. We were both silent, the atmosphere tense, I could feel the terrible feeling taking over me again. Why so suddenly? I leaned in closer to her, I stared at her soft pink lips, I could kiss them...I leaned a little closer. Was it my imagination or was she leaning in closer as well? A sudden thought occurred to me, what if she felt this way as well? This notion had never crossed my mind before I had assumed it was all me, but now that I really thought about it, she'd never really retaliated against my actions. Perhaps she'd attempted to, but I knew my twin, and she was capable of being independent when the time came. She was a lot tougher than she seemed, and thinking back, I wondered why she hadn't fought me harder that night...

"Why didn't you fight me that night?" I whispered, moving my face away, suddenly more curious then lustful. She stared at me as if in a trance before blinking a few times to awaken herself, she seemed to have been under the spell as well, perhaps it wasn't only me. 

"I don't know", was all she could manage to answer, as the grandfather clock chimed midnight, like one of our story books, I fled from her room, knowing mom and dad would be home any moment, I sprinted to my own room, shutting the door tightly behind me, fearful of what they might do if they caught us sitting so close. I'd almost kissed her, and she hadn't turned me away. She'd almost admitted to not fighting me off. Now I understood why she was so eager to defend me. She wanted it just as much as I did. I lay in bed on my back, grinning suddenly feeling happier than I had in weeks. I didn't feel like such a monster anymore as I stared up at the intricate pattern painted on to the ceiling wondering, so, did this make us both as bad as each other? I heard the lock on the door, alerting me to the fact I'd run back to my own room at just the right time. Suddenly things seemed to be looking up. 


	7. Chapter 7

The following night I strolled in somewhat of a dream state down to Rin's room, knocking and waiting for a response before entering. I beamed at her as she opened the heavy door, she smiled back at me. I looked her up and down, once again noticing the differences between our figures now; I smiled at what she was wearing.

"You dressed for the occasion" I laughed gently, taking her thin hand in my own and kissing it as a prince might do to his princess. She held her other hand to her neck in surprise, clearly perplexed by my behaviour.

"Forgive me if I'm forgetting something but...what occasion?" She questioned me as I led her down the carpeted staircase, still holding one of her hands as if she were my princess. I grinned as I turned to face her, making her stop halfway down the stairs, she stumbled a little but I held her steady. 

"We're going dancing" I announced, watching her expression change from confusion to joy, to worry. She shook her head at me grimly.

"We can't we aren't allowed in the ballroom anymore" She reminded me sadly, her joyful expression replaced by a small pout. I raised a mischievous eyebrow at her, causing her to tilt her head inquisitively at me. 

"I knew that...but what mom and dad don't know...won't hurt them" I paused, looking around before finishing the sentence as if to check no one was spying on us. No. We were completely alone in the giant old house. So, she too grinned mischievously, and we dashed down the vast corridors, giggling the whole way, until we reached the forbidden room. We were a little anxious, but together we pushed open the tall thick doors leading into our sanctuary. The old broken mirror had been replaced, and it looked as it had the whole time, as if that terrible evening had never taken place.

"It's as if it never happened" Rin reiterated my own thoughts, staring around the grand room in awe, her eyes lit up with happiness. I wasted no time in leading her into the centre of the room and beginning our dance. We span around and around like we always did, enjoying this dance more than usual due to it's absence in our lives the past two weeks. She laughed as we twirled, just as I had imagined, and in the mirror I saw a very happy woman, and joyous man. Remembering when we were younger how I would've said 'boy' and 'girl'. No, we were adults now, or so I thought. 

There came a point when we were dancing but neither of us was focussing on our dance anymore, and we slowed and slowed until we were entirely still staring at one another. I felt myself becoming nervous, I was blushing; I could see my red face reflected in the mirror. We'd both lost interest in dancing now. We wanted something more. I gulped loudly, I had that feeling that made me lose control, but I had to control it now, I wouldn't hurt Rin again, I promised myself that. 

"Let's go to bed" she spoke dreamily, not waiting for my response, she led me across the shining floor, out of the room. Neither of us bothered to close the door, not caring about it anymore. As I was led down the long corridors she looked back at me timidly, I longed to know what was going through her mind right now, was it as bad as what was going through mine. 

We entered her room anxiously; uncertain of what was going to take place. We sat on the edge of her bed as we had the night before, as if we were picking up from where we'd left off, I leaned in, wanting to do so many things to her, so many things I knew were considered wrong, but right now I didn't care about anything anymore, the sensation had overcome me again, and I felt powerless against it. If she wanted it who was I to hold back? I smiled a little, glad to not feel guilty at my lusts. I leaned in closer to kiss her, nervously shifting my head a little to find the right position to use. I noticed our shadows reflected on the wall, somehow in our shadows we didn't look so different. I pulled away from her, causing her to blush and pout a little as if I'd rejected her.

"Do you mind if we try something a second?" I questioned her. She smiled at me and allowed me to measure our hands up against one another. I sighed sadly, noticing how much longer my fingers were, we didn't match. We were old enough to know better now...She was so small compared to me, I was frightened of hurting her, so instead of continuing to seduce her as I'd planned, I smiled sadly at her and stood up, releasing her hand. She frowned staring up at me uncertainly. I sighed; I couldn't hurt her this way could I? 

"Good night" I muttered to her, turning to leave, I hung my head as I left the place that had once been our room, my hand on the doorknob, I felt a tug at my shirt hem. I swerved round to see her grasping my shirt tightly, her head hung, her shoulders shaking as if she were going to cry. I removed her hand from my shirt, bringing it to my lips and kissing it softly, affectionately. I felt the urge once more, shooting through my body, ordering me to stay and do what I so longed to do to her. I pulled my hand away swiftly, I wanted to run away, instead I turned away from her, attempting to make my exit, yet she wouldn't let me. She ran to me, flinging her small arms around me, hiding against my chest, she was crying, I was amazed at how quickly she'd flung herself at me, and stood in pure shock.

"Please...don't turn off the light...I don't WANT to sleep alone anymore!" she cried at me, her voice sounded as if it were in pain as she pounded at my chest with her tiny fists, causing more pain to me than she realised. I stroked her hair, desperately trying to think of a way to calm her sobs. I decided to divulge one of my secrets to her, and whispered; 

"I'm frightened of monsters, isn't that childish princess?" attempting to make a joke out of my own suffering, I laughed a little, trying to break the tension between us. She moved away from me so she could stare up at me, her watery eyes filled with anger. She stared deep into my eyes searching for something, common ground?

"We can't be alone together anymore without mom and dad suspecting us of something can we?" She whimpered, throwing herself back into my outstretched arms. I wondered if she wanted me as much as I wanted her right now. I wrapped my arms around her, noticing the key to the bedroom door on the dresser. I kissed the top of her head, feeling my urges returning with a vengeance. I rubbed her back comfortingly, realising how hot her body felt against mine. My hand slipped from her back to her hips, caressing them lovingly. I wasn't comforting her anymore I just wanted to feel her. She seemed to like this and sighed, I felt her warm breath against my neck, sending chills down my spine. My hand explored her back hungrily; I let out a slight moan of anticipation. I could feel her through the thin fabric of her dress; I was losing my cool rapidly.

Without thinking I let go of my princess, swiftly moving to the dressing table and swiping the key, I locked the door so that our parents couldn't stop us now. Placing the key in my back pocket I turned back to Rin, seeing a look of surprise on her beautiful face...but it wasn't her face I wanted. Moving quickly, fuelled by adrenaline I forced her down on to the bed beneath me, drawing a small gasp of shock from her lips. 


	8. Chapter 8 Final

She lay beneath me, her hair in disarray as I straddled her, one leg on each side of her, same with my arms so she had no route of escape, yet somehow I didn't believe she wanted to escape. So many thoughts and ideas rushed through my brain, as my heart pumped at an unbelievable speed. This is what I wanted. Still she looked shocked, staring up into my face, her eyes wide with wonder. I was breathing heavily filled with lust as she lay helplessly below me. I could do what I wanted whether she liked it or not. Yet unlike before I didn't move again. I stared down at her, a mixture of guilt and anguish within me. I wanted this so badly yet I couldn't bear the thought of hurting her. Just do it, even if she doesn't like it, she'll get over it one side of my brain ordered me harshly. Yet another voice told me not to...if you do this you'll lose her forever it said, that was an unbearable thought, but these urges...they were unbearable as well, what was I supposed to do? 

We stared mutually in to one another's eyes, do you want this? I asked silently, searching her hazy eyes for a response. Yes I suppose I do, that's what I felt she was telling me. All of the lights were off, it was the perfect opportunity, the dark would surely conceal my evil desires, still being together was still an excuse to turn off the light...I wanted to hide what we were doing, I didn't want our parents to find out because I knew it was wrong, but it was consuming me, and my fears were beginning to dissolve into nothing as I leaned my face closer to hers. I stared down at her delicate dress, the frills that barely covered her chest. Why couldn't I stop staring at her chest? I reached out a trembling hand and pulled at the bow behind her neck, the halter neck keeping her dress from falling off. She lay in silence allowing me to do this. The strings lay around her neck, allowing me access to her now. She moved one hand to move the strings out of the way, almost like she was giving me permission to go further.

I was sweating like never before, and I hadn't even done anything yet, she pulled my tie away from my neck, flinging it to the floor, seemingly more eager than I was. I fumbled with the buttons on my shirt, so she took over undoing them carefully; it was torture how long this was taking! I grabbed her thigh in frustration, making her squeal with surprise.

"I told you, you had nice legs" I whispered hoarsely, her response was a simple 'Mmm', it seemed she was too anxious to speak properly, she breathed heavily as she finished unbuttoning my shirt, I was still stroking her leg. She was blushing feverishly. I could feel myself frowning down at her in frustration, so many different thoughts flung around in my head. She lifted her small hand to my cheek, caressing it lovingly. She mouthed the words do it silently at me, and I was ready to when I noticed a picture of us beside her bed, when we were small children, and I remembered oh, that's right...we're twins, did I really want this that much. Yes! No! I was filled with so many different emotions. I lifted her off of the bed and cradled her in my arms. I whispered to her 

"I don't know if I can do this" She didn't reply, she simply stroked my back in reply, willing me to continue. It felt like hours we were there, as if time had stopped for us as I embraced her. "You're sweating" I whispered softly.

"So are you" She gasped. I could feel her heartbeat moving with mine as I hugged her, she was so tired, she was literally falling asleep in my arms. I lay her down on the bed once more, it was final decision time. I still longed for her, but as I saw her dozing silently, innocently I couldn't do it. I stroked her hair softly waiting until I believed she was asleep. There was one thing I wanted if I couldn't bring myself to go any further. I lowered my face to hers, feeling her warm breath against my cheek, I pressed my lips against hers softly, relishing in the moment.

I pulled away contemplating things, I remembered how she'd always called me her knight, I sad smile played on my lips as I thought to myself, I won't take things any further than this, I'll protect you, even from me, as if I really were your knight. I got to my feet, taking the key from my pocket at forcing it into the lock; I left the room as quickly as time would allow me, closing the door behind me and sliding down so that I was leaning against it. I touched my lips gently as if they were made of some precious material. I'd kissed her. It was better than nothing.

I didn't think I would ever look at Rin as 'just my sister' ever again, though I silently promised I wouldn't go any further with her to spare her. I shut my eyes, wondering what my parents would do to me if they discovered what I'd done, and almost done. I saw Rin in my minds eye, sitting up, touching her lips the same as I, almost in disbelief, and I knew that this wasn't my imagination; we were connected together, telepathically, because we were twins...

"Good night my princess" I whispered softly once more, and in a daze of love I stumbled back to my own room.


End file.
